I Have to Say It

I've deliberately stayed away from this blog, waiting for the whole Sarah Palin thing to blow over so we can get back to a normal presidential campaign. But it's not happening and I can't just walk away from this. So here goes.

I won't address the question of maternity, Troopergate, or any of the other potential scandals surrounding the VP nominee. I have something more important in mind.

It's become popular to say that a mother can take on the duties of a vice president, just the same as a father can. Palin has five children. Obama has two. If he doesn't have to worry about the effects of his candidacy on his young children, then neither should she.

But that's not the way it works. Mothers are different. When my husband is napping in the afternoon and I'm trying to grab a few moments for myself, who do the kids come to? Who do my kids call when they're away at college and need money? Who coordinates the schedules and knows what everyone is doing at any particular time?

My husband is a very good father, but my role as mother is still more encompassing than his parental involvement. It always has been and, I imagine, it always will be. I make the phone calls, buy the presents, send the encouraging emails and provide the care packages. I help with the homework and communicate with the teachers. That's the way it is.

There are some fathers out there who do parent as well as, or even better than, mothers. They're doing a great job. But they are far from the norm. In most families, the mom is the one who keeps her fingers on the pulse of the family, anticipating everyone's needs.

I have six kids, ages twenty-six (I still can't believe that!) to thirteen. We're talking all the way from marriage and grandkids to finishing middle school. My kids don't have any special needs but they need me plenty. I just sent one away to college last month. Next year I have another one starting high school. From fender benders to unemployment, we have our share of challenges.

Sarah Palin has five kids. Not quite as many as me. But two of her kids do have special needs--the pregnant teen and the tiny infant. She's sending her oldest to Iraq and those two girls in the middle need attention, too. But where is Mom? She's on the campaign trail.

I'm an author and I fantasize about going out on the road to promote my books, city to city, one book-signing and interview to the next. I have kids, though, and even though they're not babies they need me. My career is important to me, but it can wait. My family always comes first.

Why doesn't Sarah Palin feel that way?